See, that's the thing. The last thing I remember before waking up in a frickin' morgue? I was on Helios and a bunch of crazy Dahl soldiers had attacked.
But based on the stuff I seem to have been saying here, I'm. Guessing that a few things have happened since then.
[And he has no idea how to feel about that. Because wow, future him sure is different.]
[ Okay, this... changes things. Somewhat. The amnesia is presumably temporary, but it means that - at least for now - Handsome Jack is dead. And Angel has her dad back.
Oh.
There's an immediate visual change to her attitude. The wariness in her expression is still there, but there's also a warmth that wasn't present before. A tentative excitement, even. ]
Yeah, it's. Been a while since then. I can give you a rundown of everything, but... I'm - I'm not sure most of it is relevant, s-- dad. You might want to just get the Norfinbury version.
[ Jack's eyebrows orbit the planet and smack the cautious optimism out of Angel as they make their way back to his face. She tries not to visibly sag, but there's probably an element of droopage. ]
The Vault Hunters you hired solved the Dahl problem and found you your Vault. Things went wrong, your face got scarred. You swore vengeance on the entire population of Pandora for what happened, and the knowledge you accessed in the Vault led you to believe that the best way to achieve your aims would be to utilise an organic Eridium battery to charge the key to the Vault of the Warrior, so you could harness the power of the creature slumbering within. A team of Vault Hunters stopped you.
Oh, you - you also cho-- strangled Mr. Tassiter and declared yourself Handsome Jack, the new face of Hyperion. Your corporate decisions included destroying the entire CL4P-TP line and changing the company colour scheme to yellow.
[Please hold, trying to process all that. He'd figured large chunks of it out already based on network threads, but it's still a lot to take in.]
I mean, those decisions are definitely awesome. Been working on the colour scheme thing with Helios already.
But, uh. Wow. Not really sure what to think about the rest of that, honestly.
[Sure, he's fantasised about murdering his boss and stealing his job plenty of times, but everyone does that, right? He's never really planned to actually do it.]
Destroying the claptrap units was not awesome, dad, one of them helped you. The Fragtrap we worked on?
[ Geez. It's probably best he doesn't think too hard about things, though, since he might start asking questions about that delicately-phrased organic Eridium battery she mentioned. ]
Anyway, after we died we showed up here. Rhys, too - if you've been reading the network, he's the man with the tie tucked into his pants. One of your employees. You died saving us from a monster.
Yeah, yeah, but come on. Everybody hates those frickin' things, and with good reason.
[Oh, he's thinking about things. He's thinking about a lot of things. He just really does not want to think about the battery thing. Not just yet.]
And yeah, I've been reading the network. Saw my own obituary and everything.
[Including the responses to that. Like, say, the thing where an asshole doctor went on aboout how he's abusive and doesn't really love his daughter. That was great.
What's also great is the little "we" there. Not that he needed it to know about Angel being dead, but it sure is a nice reminder.]
And that's- that's something else I wanted to ask about. How did you die?
Darn. A shame that people are going to be too frightened of your hair to get close enough to verify that you don't stink like skag breath.
[ THE LOWEST BLOW. Meaning she's missed it too. She might be being a little too generous with how pleasant she's being to him, honestly, but watching him die for her and then having him come back like this? It kind of makes things complicated. ]
Hey hey hey, let's not bring the hair into this. That's just too much of a low blow.
[He doesn't point out that there is an actual real reason why people might be unwilling to get close to him. Because casually threatening to kill people is a thing that he does now, apparently.]
[ She smiles, but it fades quickly. She mmmmmight be thinking along similar lines. ]
Um, on the subject of people with bad hair - you may want to contact Rhys and tell him you're alive, even though you obviously don't remember him. He's been in a pretty weird place since you, uh. Since it happened. You did save him too.
His username is - um. You've probably seen it. Him. While you were searching the network. So, uh.
[ She's half suggesting this for selfish reasons, since if Rhys speaks to Dadsome Jack too then the burden of deciding what to do about this isn't just hers. AWESOME. ]
no subject
But based on the stuff I seem to have been saying here, I'm. Guessing that a few things have happened since then.
[And he has no idea how to feel about that. Because wow, future him sure is different.]
1/2
2/2
Oh.
There's an immediate visual change to her attitude. The wariness in her expression is still there, but there's also a warmth that wasn't present before. A tentative excitement, even. ]
Yeah, it's. Been a while since then. I can give you a rundown of everything, but... I'm - I'm not sure most of it is relevant, s-- dad. You might want to just get the Norfinbury version.
no subject
Not relevant? Seriously?
[She can't see him, but she's free to imagine his eyebrows pretty much flying off his face and up into the stratosphere.]
I know I'm probably gonna get my memory back soon anyway, but. I'm gonna need you to tell me, Angel.
no subject
[ Jack's eyebrows orbit the planet and smack the cautious optimism out of Angel as they make their way back to his face. She tries not to visibly sag, but there's probably an element of droopage. ]
The Vault Hunters you hired solved the Dahl problem and found you your Vault. Things went wrong, your face got scarred. You swore vengeance on the entire population of Pandora for what happened, and the knowledge you accessed in the Vault led you to believe that the best way to achieve your aims would be to utilise an organic Eridium battery to charge the key to the Vault of the Warrior, so you could harness the power of the creature slumbering within. A team of Vault Hunters stopped you.
Oh, you - you also cho-- strangled Mr. Tassiter and declared yourself Handsome Jack, the new face of Hyperion. Your corporate decisions included destroying the entire CL4P-TP line and changing the company colour scheme to yellow.
HDU!!
[Please hold, trying to process all that. He'd figured large chunks of it out already based on network threads, but it's still a lot to take in.]
I mean, those decisions are definitely awesome. Been working on the colour scheme thing with Helios already.
But, uh. Wow. Not really sure what to think about the rest of that, honestly.
[Sure, he's fantasised about murdering his boss and stealing his job plenty of times, but everyone does that, right? He's never really planned to actually do it.]
no subject
[ Geez. It's probably best he doesn't think too hard about things, though, since he might start asking questions about that delicately-phrased organic Eridium battery she mentioned. ]
Anyway, after we died we showed up here. Rhys, too - if you've been reading the network, he's the man with the tie tucked into his pants. One of your employees. You died saving us from a monster.
no subject
[Oh, he's thinking about things. He's thinking about a lot of things. He just really does not want to think about the battery thing. Not just yet.]
And yeah, I've been reading the network. Saw my own obituary and everything.
[Including the responses to that. Like, say, the thing where an asshole doctor went on aboout how he's abusive and doesn't really love his daughter. That was great.
What's also great is the little "we" there. Not that he needed it to know about Angel being dead, but it sure is a nice reminder.]
And that's- that's something else I wanted to ask about. How did you die?
no subject
[ It feels wrong, somehow, to throw it in his face. She's talking to a Jack that didn't cause any of it, kind of. Not yet. As far as he knows.
Amnesia is complicated. ]
I don't... don't remember. Sorry. I didn't know you died either until you told me.
no subject
Sweetie, that's obviously not the truth. I'm not stupid, so don't try to lie to me, okay?
no subject
Wow no there really isn't. At all. ]
I died of severe physical trauma induced by Eridium withdrawal.
[ That's the best she can do. At least it isn't putting the blame at anyone's feet. ]
no subject
[Welp, that answers that. It's exactly what he'd been fearing.
Wow, he kind of is a shitty father, isn't he?]
...You're. You're okay now, right?
no subject
What about you, are you... Is it just the amnesia?
no subject
But that's just something I'm gonna have to get used to. For a second time.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[This is... nice. It's not like they never joke around like this, but it's been pretty rare for a long time now. He's missed it.]
no subject
[ THE LOWEST BLOW. Meaning she's missed it too. She might be being a little too generous with how pleasant she's being to him, honestly, but watching him die for her and then having him come back like this? It kind of makes things complicated. ]
no subject
[He doesn't point out that there is an actual real reason why people might be unwilling to get close to him. Because casually threatening to kill people is a thing that he does now, apparently.]
no subject
[ She smiles, but it fades quickly. She mmmmmight be thinking along similar lines. ]
Um, on the subject of people with bad hair - you may want to contact Rhys and tell him you're alive, even though you obviously don't remember him. He's been in a pretty weird place since you, uh. Since it happened. You did save him too.
His username is - um. You've probably seen it. Him. While you were searching the network. So, uh.
[ She's half suggesting this for selfish reasons, since if Rhys speaks to Dadsome Jack too then the burden of deciding what to do about this isn't just hers. AWESOME. ]
no subject
[Because hahaha he sure did find that conversation where Rhys told him about his brain situation. That sure is a thing.]
Might as well go do that right now. Take care, okay?
no subject
[ She only hesitates very slightly before adding: ]
Take care of yourself too. Please.