phaseshifter | IC Contact

Oh my god Beckett if you get yourself eaten by an anomaly or something while you're gone I'm going to freaking

I don't even know!! Be really sad and nothing else, probably, but I still feel like I should put that out there!! What I'm saying is that you'd better take *supremely* good care of yourself until then.

(Yes, that's fussing, and I'm sorry. Not as sorry as I am about the book, though.)

Technically speaking, travelling alone reduces the odds of a fatal anomaly encounter.

I'm not looking for death, Angel. Not anymore. Even if there was nothing else - now, I really am the final relic. Too much goes with me if I go.

Oh geez, don't say that
You can't grumble about me calling you old and then designate yourself as a relic. That's too much.

[ j o k e s ]

If you want a place to write some of it down again, I have a sketchbook I never used
I know that's a stupid offer that might even feel insulting (SORRY), but it's all I have. Other than trying to learn it from you myself if we survive this, obviously. Urghrhgg

I can recite the book itself from memory. It's the footnotes that were

[Made by his Kindred, his friends, his teachers and companions and this is not helping.]

They were all interpretative, though. Not of the same historical value. Marginalia. The text itself is safe in my admittedly not that old head. Somewhere to put it all down in a more... tangible format than the electronic would help, yes. Very much.

Then consider the sketchbook yours. And my pens. I have a few. Plus pastels and glitter glue if you get *really* desperate. And I'll keep an eye open for notebooks or paper from now on.
Does that sound grovelly? It isn't meant to
I know you don't expect or need us to make it up to you or anything, but. You know how guilt is. Especially when someone you love is hurt.

I'm not sure how pastels and glitter would work for chronicling the secret history of bygone vampirekind... but I'm open for suggestions. Perhaps that would make it more accessible for - well, whomever might want to access it.

[He's a little lost on that front.]

But yes. I know. Still, I can't conceive of how I might blame you for it. It wasn't your doing in any kind of meaningful sense - no more than Rhys was responsible for any of Jack's action while in his body, yes?

[Is he... fishing for confirmation? Surely not.]

Iunno, Beckett, glitter worked for the Twilight lady. Throw in a tacky romance and you too could have a legacy spanning time and space. A cr*ppy legacy, but still. :P

And that's right, but
It's that we were *there,* you know? And if we hadn't have been, you'd have been just fine??
That sounds dumb when I say it, but. Still. Feeling a level of responsibility for Jack's actions is nothing new.
(He's feigning concern right now. I'm almost proud of him for not openly gloating. Almost.)

I think we've rather established that "just fine" is a lost cause.

[Wait, not helping again.]

No. That came out wrong. What I mean is that I would still rather that you were there. In the general sense. If your presence carries risk I still welcome it. After all you have done much more for me along the same lines. It's a fair price. I mean

I'm sorry, my usual stunning eloquence seems to be letting me down just now.

[He's trying to say that he'd rather have them than the book. For some reason this is harder coming out with conviction than it ought to be.]

Well. Perhaps your eloquence will come back after you've had your space. Which is a thing that... I'm probably depriving you of right now, aren't I.

[ She's not going to ask whether he would rather have them than the book. That isn't fair, and she's kind of afraid that she wouldn't believe him if he said yes.

Besides. This already feels too familiar to the time she betrayed the vault hunters to Jack. Saying we aren't friends any more, are we hadn't exactly worked out well for her then, so... ]

Is this my cue to buzz off and leave you to your solitary adventures??

[It should be, shouldn't it? She's offering exactly what he's asked for - Angels gonna Angel, clever girl - and he does want to accept. He's chasing solitude because it is the most familiar thing, and because the loss he grapples with is his, his alone, nothing anyone can sympathise with, because they are not, in the end, his Kindred.

But they are all he has and all he will ever have. That he cannot imagine how to make them understand suddenly frustrates him beyond words. Every time he thinks he's found some sense to his continued existence...]

I will see you again soon. And I'll be less of a bundle of idiot depression when I do, which I'm sure would be no small relief.

IC Contact - Snowblind

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