phaseshifter | IC Contact

I'm just tired, is all. That whole thing was - it was very draining.

It must have been.

[There's silence for a moment as Tifa tries to get her thoughts in order.]

I understand why you did it.

[Even if it wasn't the best decision.]

Mmmh.

I'd do it again. For the record. It's worth the punishment, because he deserved it. Or worse.

I don't think you should be punished for it. You're a good person, Angel.

[Yeah she totally saw that conversation with America, oops.]

No. I'm not. I've done too much to ever be called that with any level of truthfulness.

Sorry.

What are you talking about?

[Honestly, this possibility doesn't even compute.]

How long have you got? I've done a lot of bad things. A lot.

[Oh. Well.]

You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but... I can listen as long as you need me to.

I worked with Jack. For years. Countless people died as a result. I rationalised it by telling myself that they were just bandits and Jack was a hero, but we both know that isn't true.

I betrayed my friends. We're not friends any more, but they still did me the kindness of killing me. It was - better than I deserved.

And - and none of the bad things that have happened would have been possible if not for me. If I hadn't killed my mom when I was little, Jack would never have become Handsome Jack. There were lots of factors, but I'm the root of it.

Um. I think that's it.

[Tifa exhales slowly, raking a hand through her hair on the other side of the tablet. Rationalizing away deaths hits close to home, and it's a moment before she responds.]

Angel, he made his own choices. You're not the root of anything. You didn't deserve to die.

I sold out the vault hunters that trusted me, Tifa. Twice. The first time was a massacre - Jack's army razed the entire town. There were children there, and I thought that if I didn't watch it happen then I couldn't be blamed for it.

I was - sixteen, I think? Old enough to know better.

[She's silent for a long, long moment, wondering if she should be honest with Angel or just keep trying to convince her that what she did wasn't entirely her fault. How could it be, when she was raised by Jack and obviously loved him?

Nothing she's saying will have much weight if she doesn't fess up, though, she thinks. If doing so will help Angel at all, it's worth it.

Finally, she continues, her voice much more quiet, even as she forces herself to say it.]

A lot of people have died because of me, too. But it's... It's different with you. Maybe you did sell them out, but Jack was the one who destroyed that town.

Edited 2016-03-02 02:54 (UTC)

Because of you?

[ Well that's

hard to believe

to say the least ]

Um - Jack couldn't have destroyed it without me. I was the mole, I was just as much at fault. The vault hunters survived and blame me too.

[She shoves down the guilt, somewhere safe where she doesn't actually have to feel it. Or she tries to, at least. It still makes her sound unsteady.]

Yes, because of me.

[She might as well admit it. It won't bring those people back, but at least it's less cowardly. That's... something.

And even if it was partially Angel's fault, Tifa still doesn't think it was as bad as what she did. At least Angel has an excuse.]

Why did you tell Jack?

I'm. I'm sorry. Is this upsetting you? We can stop, it's not...

[ Hurghrrhh. ]

Mmmh. I told Jack because he wanted me to. I wasn't forced into it. Back then, I was willing to help him. It only got complicated much later.

No, no, it's fine, it's--

[Just hard to talk about.]

He's your father, right? I know he's... [Don't finish that thought, Tifa.] You still love him, and he still raised you, didn't he? Of course you would want to help him, even if he did... horrible things.

But it's not an excuse. It doesn't justify anything, and me dying didn't erase the fact that I'm just. Not a good person.

[ Which raises the question of what happened wrt the deaths Tifa is responsible for. Angel opens her mouth, but closes it without asking. She probably shouldn't. ]

Maybe it isn't an excuse, but that doesn't mean...

[Should she bring it up? It was public, and Angel probably knows she saw it, but...

Whatever, powering through it.]

You're better than him, Angel. Please believe me.

That's not a high bar to set.

Mmmh - sorry, I'm. I'm being a sadsack.

No, it's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time, especially after all that.

[Hypocrite. Oops.]

IC Contact - Snowblind

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